Went for iya ijebu's birthday, went well. I know I don't have to say a word to your spirit there's nothing that is hidden before you. I feel very lonely but I know the Lord is with me. It's not like before none come visiting again, everyone's gone their own way. We greet on whatsapp and joke as best as we can. All the others have quietly moved on . I looked around on the service day said not a word but as we read the Lord's prayer, I looked for you with my heart and for the first time I wept , truly Ronke, I wept before Him at the past at what I have become at what I have been through and all I could say was, "Our Father who art in heaven." Daddy we are not complete, He only knew the meaning of that prayer, it was a cry of anguish before God like the day my spirit man overwhelmed cried out to Him, "Abba Father" with my hands stretched the the heaven in the spirit yet quietly by my side for the untrained eye. Mankind are not what they seem, they are awful and awful. They revel in evil and tell you to your face they are the ones doing it. One even told me I was going to die on not seeing it happen as prophesied, resorted to telling me "don't be afraid to die, slash your wrist. " When that tactic did not work, said she'd have to go back and meet the Ibadan people again. You know our cat at Links the day she had some kittens and ate some before any could get to her, that's what the face of the earth , the society we now live in is like. He who turns to God as Jeremiah said becomes a prey. I am still with God, had to leave CT, it's not been easy, but God is faithful. Someone paid to keep the SFH, forevermissed tribute site open anonymously may God honour that one as they have honoured your memory. Truly we can only imagine what it will be like when we get before Him. But God knows best. Ronke, God is as the Ijebu would say, "epenuse a hun eni se ibi."

Thank you for the "steadfast love of the Lord never ceases" I now know partly what you were trying to tell me.